Because a great many folks who can marry are choosing not to. Millions of them.
My own niece has 3 kids, a house and a good job. She was raised Catholic by parents in a solid marriage. And yet, she and her partner have never bothered to marry.

And those who ARE married seem to have less than sacred views of those vows.
Especially those on the right side of the political spectrum who howl about it the loudest. Folks like the ever faithful Senator Ensign and Governor Sanford.

Gay couples get it. They understand that marriage means legal security for your kids and for your spouse.
That it says "we live together and we're committed to doing so long term--hopefully forever".

What we really need is civil unions for all.  And then the churches would be free to practice their own personal prejudices. We've got separation of church and state--remember?

But this country doesn't want civil unions for all. It HAS to be marriage.

So let gays marry. Let them raise kids in stable homes, pay taxes together. Do all the things they've done forever, just now with that legal stamp on their union.

And perhaps, when marriage is a right offered to all, then it will reclaim its value and its dignity.

Panko are Japanese bread crumbs. You may be able to buy them in your grocery store now--check the Asian foods section. I had heard Alton Brown and other TV chefs rave about them, but I didn't know what the buzz was about.

Now I do. Because panko are large, crisp bread crumbs that really stick well to whatever you're breading.
And thanks to panko crumbs, and a favorite recipe from Pierre Franey's fabulous Sixty-Minute Gourmet, I am now making a pan-fried chicken breast fillet that JR adores. And when your skinny picky eater finds a protein source she'll gobble, you make it!

SC tried it and said she didn't like it, but I am going to ask her to try it again with a honey mustard dip. And I am planning on trying a riff on the Buffalo Chicken recipe the Man and I love. I think I'll presoak the chicken in buttermilk and hot sauce as usual, then do the recipe that follows and add some hot sauce at the last minute. Yum!

Panko Breaded Pan Fried Chicken Breast a la Pierre Franey

Boneless skinless chicken breasts
Unbleached flour
1 egg
Panko bread crumbs

Beat the egg and put it in a large flat dish.
Put the chicken breasts between 2 layers of wax paper and pound them with a mallet or a heavy pan.
Pounding them flat will make them cook much more quickly, but I tend to just flatten them slightly--it gives you nice chunky bites.

Heat a small amount of oil (canola or you could use peanut) in a deep skillet. You are NOT going to be immersing the chicken totally in the oil, just cooking it.

Coat the chicken breasts in flour--I just sprinkle it on the chicken on the wax paper. Dip it in the egg, then coat it in bread crumbs. You can roll it in a dish, shake it in a bag, or just plop it back on the wax paper and sprinkle it on. The panko should adhere beautifully, but you can give it a pat with your fingers or the flat side of a knife.

Cook the chicken for about 5 minutes in the oil, then flip it and cook for 5 minutes more. The chicken needs to reach 168 degrees F to be done and this may take 20 minutes or more, depending on how flat you've pounded the breasts.

Drain on a paper towel covered plate and serve.

SC PASSED THE S.O.L. MATH TEST!

And that's all in caps for a reason.The last time she passed the damn test was in 3rd grade.

She didn't have to take it in 4th. She failed it in 5th. In 6th. In 7th--where she came within points of a pass.
But this year, not only did she pass it, she passed it with a rating of "proficient"

She could have done it for the past 3 years. She just didn't BELIEVE that she could.
Now she does. And hopefully, she'll be able to pass it the next time and the next and the next.

To add icing to my cake, Lynne called me this morning to kvell about her dancing. Not JR's--she's always good--but about SC, who quite ballet last year and hasn't danced since this week!

Lynne's hoping she'll agree to come and be her assistant at some of the classes in the fall.

I don't know what we're going to do to celebrate. But celebrate we WILL!

I want your baby.

You can have SC. I know she's a teenager, but hey, you'd only have her for 4 years and then she's outta there--and she can babysit your other 2 meanwhile. What a deal!

I will gladly volunteer to take your darling 3 month old.

Yes, I know that after sleeping happily on my shoulder for 3 hours yesterday, she doubtlessly was soon up and fussing. Yes, I know there will be teething, toilet training and all the delights that go with young kids. 

Yes, I know I'll no longer be able to sleep through the night, that I won't be able to leave the house without packing several bags, probably never get to sit through a full meal in a restaurant. Going out otherwise is no problem--the Man and I haven't done that in years.

But when I picked her up yesterday she SMILED at me as if she remembered the last time I'd held her at Easter. And she snuggled up in my arms and cuddled, and liked it when I sang her lullabies.

She'll be giggling when her toes are tickled, marveling at peek a boo and animal noises. Discovering solid foods. Pulling herself to her feet, and WALKING. Saying "Mama".

Holding your hand, and thinking you are the most wonderful person in the whole wide world.

And between the choices of having all that again, and having teenagers--and perimenopause--I'd take your girl in a minute.

How about it?

Love,

Auntie L

Take a look at Liza Mundy's article in Sunday's Washington Post: Jon and Kate Plus Health Care.

And from the Times of London read Janice Turner's column about Michael Jackson, which is titled
The Fans killed their idol. They always do . It says a lot of things I've always thought about fandom and stardom.

Celebrity news is usually fluff.
But each of these pieces will really give you some things to think about.

Volunteers can be a blessing in a library. We had a young volunteer that started with us at age 14, was hired as a page at age 16 and worked for me until he graduated from college. I had another lady who came to help us for years and did all kinds of behind the scenes work for us, and we have a few who do the same right now.

But volunteers can also be a disaster. Especially when they're not real volunteers, but volunteers who are doing community service, or have been "volunteered" by their parents.

Two weeks ago I was asked to take on a teenage home schooler. Her father had apparently volunteered her. Her reason for volunteering, according to her form was "to do something besides sitting around the house".

Sadly, "sitting around the house" is apparently all she has done outside of here. 

Don't get me wrong. She's a nice enough kid--and I feel sorry for her. She's gawky and awkward and she needs something beyond what she's gotten at home. But I can't do that for her.

I asked her to clean picture books for me--not rocket science--and she finished ONE shelf and came back asking what to do next. She took an hour to do another job that would have taken me a half hour at most--and would have taken the average teen about 15 minutes. Asked to put some books on our book trucks, she didn't bother to look at the labels--and I had showed her the labels--just dumped them all on one truck.

In other words, I am having to MAKE work for her to do--and then often redoing it myself.

I am not going to tell her father any of this--or that from my observations, this kid really needs an outside life. I don't know her father and I don't know much about their circumstances, save that he is in the military, that they have moved several times, and that they are moving again soon.

So I am going to call her father next Monday, thank him for her help, and let him know that I really don't have any other work for her to do.

I really don't. And if I do, I will get SC--or for that matter JR--to do it.  Heck, JR has come in and reorganized out of order series books without my even asking her to do so!

As I said, I feel sorry for this kid. But I can't deal with her any more.

Have you seen the wonderful movie "Waitress"?  Know how the heroine baked pies and named them for what she was going through? Things like "I Don't Want Earl's Baby Pie" and "Pregnant Miserable Self Pitying Loser Pie"?

Well, I made my mom's fruit "tart" with peaches tonight. I am taking it to work tomorrow.
And I am renaming it  "I Am So Glad I Don't Work With The Nasty Assholes At the Main Branch Library and I Am SO Glad I Work With the Folks I Do Peach Cake"

And that's all of THAT story that I will post here.

Our circulation manager has always said that I am the "staff morale officer". And right now that's something I really take seriously.

It's been a hard year--we're working with a staff of 17 when we should have 24 and the library, if anything is busier than ever.  Our staff works hard and we've always prided ourselves on giving the best service in the system--and being short staffed is not excuse for us to slack.

But we're tired, and people get grumpy. So whenever possible, I try to find ways we can blow off steam.
Usually it's food, but sometimes I come up with something else.

I've had a sunflower garden outside the library for years--the kids help me plant seeds and we label them with their names. I've always wanted to do it for the staff as well, but never gotten around to it.

But last summer the people who take care of the grounds finally cleared out the long, narrow flower bed over by our back door loading area. It was choked with prickly bushes and the like, but now it's 25-30 feet by 3 feet of nice, clear area. I planted flower bulbs last fall and they did well.

A few weeks ago I got every staff member to plant a seed in a paper cup, took them outside and planted them with labels. And nothing came up. Zilch. Not a one.

We've had heavy rain, and apparently since that area is flat as a pancake, it didn't drain well and the seeds must have rotted. The kids' seeds, planted in a raised bed outside the children's room windows have done fine.

So I bought a little windowsill garden tray, planted 20 seeds in 20 peat pots, put them on a heat pad under the garden light in my windowsill--and every one has sprouted!

This week, they go out in the garden area. The rains have stopped and they should thrive.

These are "Mammoth Gray" sunflowers. When fully grown, they will be a good 6-8 feet tall.
And the first one to produce a flower wins its "owner" one of my infamously good New York Cheesecakes!

Stay tuned--this is now a weekly feature of this blog...................

''Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.''

      Barack Obama

Here's to the Man, my father and all the other fathers out there who have that courage.
Maybe we could do it without you. But I wouldn't--not for anything.

If you go to YouTube and put in "ballet recital" you will find endless home movies of little girls tricked out in fancy schmancy tutus and the like, but few of them are really dancing.
(And I say that as someone who DOES!)

JR is not wearing a fancy costume here. There's NO makeup--Lynne forbids them from wearing any sort of makeup on stage. They're beautiful little girls and they don't need it.

Aside from the second dance's masks and the wonderful hairdo (and WHY did she take it down before I could get a still picture?), this is just  3 little girls dancing. They need no gimmicks!

In the first video, JR is on your left. (Sorry for the poor camera angles. Blame the Man )
I've danced this dance. It truly IS "Super Speedy":

 In this second dance, she is on your right:

 And now you know why those "recital" bits on YouTube make me roll my eyes. THIS is dancing.