"Enlighten the Gentiles"

Yiddish words and phrases to amuse and confuse.
The latest entry explains how your spouse's potchking around can send your travel plans to hell in a handbasket.And you'll find the archives HERE . Read and enjoy...... 

 

_______________________________________________ Story Time With the Library Lady
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Total: 604,438
since: 20 Aug 2003

The Cast Of Characters

The Man (of the House): The love of my life. Severely addicted to books (that take up WAYYYY too much space in our house) and raw garlic. We've been married 13 years, but involved for many more. Long story....

Our Kids:
SC:  Age 13. Book addicted like both her parents. Serious, but with a nice sense of humor. Well mannered in the eyes of the world, but at home,it can be another story(!)

JR: Age 9  I think of her as a Disney Princess's evil twin. All the eccentricity of both sides of the family wrapped up in a sweet little body and an adorable smile. People find her a darling. I do too, but I also find her exhausting!

The Beasts: Our 2 cats, both adopted from animal rescue. "Bart" is a big, solid black, total teddy bear of a cat. Our brown tabby queeen "Bella" is  in love with The Man, though she seems to like me too!

Me: Children's librarian by day, tired keeper of all of the above by night. When I think of my life, I think of Nicole Hollander (Sylvia)'s immortal line about things that are easier than combining a family and a career. Like swimming the Amazon covered in peanut butter....

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Want The Latest Mishegosse?

And Now For Something Completely Different--A Post That's Actually About the Library

posted Wed, 07/16/08

I know, I know. The title of this blog is "The Library Lady Rants".  And lately, there's been precious little about the library. Beginning to wonder if I DO work in a library?

Well, you could go back and find some of my reference rants, or some of my rants about the nutty mothers who think that a child should start participating in library programs around the same time as the stump of their umbilical cord dries up.  They're there, along with some shaking my head at our head office and a few moans about the village who are missing their idiot-- we'd like to return him and get him out of our staff room.

And speaking of the village idiot:

I: An actual office conversation.
(I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried)

D, our young, smart reference librarian consults me on policy because I am one of the building officers:

D:
Library Lady, is it ok for a guy to be trimming his hair in the men's room?"

Me: Nope. Definitely not.

Nebbish: (a.k.a. our village idiot, see here and here for more): Aw, come on, Library Lady, people do lots of things in public restrooms.

L: I know that, but it doesn't mean it's okay for them to DO things.

Nebbish:Oh, I mean perfectly legal things. I mean, I've done LOTS of things in restrooms

Young (and smart) circulation clerk: That's between you and your god, Nebbish.

Nebbish:Oh, but I mean things like changing your clothes in the bathroom. 

L: We've all done THAT. I change my clothes for ballet at the bathroom in the Y twice a week. But what we're talking about here is a HYGIENE issue. Someone cutting their hair is leaving hair all over the place.

Nebbish: Women put their makeup on in the bathroom.....

L: Nebbish, if you want to put on lipstick in the men's room, that's fine with me. Knock yourself out.... 

I did not comment on the fact (he's told us) that he and his wife have separate bathrooms and she doesn't want him using hers. Because personally, if I was meshugge enough to be married to him I would want not only a separate bathroom, but a separate bedroom. And preferably in a different house in a different city in a different state.....

II: The 3 Stooges Dispose of A Change Machine

That's what our circ manager calls the Reference department manager, the manager of our archival collection and one of our circulation staff-- the three of them together are wayyy too much testosterone for one library.

The machine in question was locked and the keys had disappeared. The machine was going to be junked, but they needed to open it to remove whatever coinage remained.

So they dragged it outside.My assistant suggested just prying it open. Yeah, right.

The reference manager got out a hammer.
And he whacked it.
                        And whacked it.
                                                     And whacked it.
Well, that's one way to get out your aggressions towards our problem patrons! 

Finally, they got it open and after more smashing, got out the coin box. They were also going to cut several cables, but I managed to show them that you could just unscrew them.
After all, I'm a GIRLLaughing

When everything had been removed, the reference manager literally HEAVED the machine across the lawn, several times. And then they THREW it onto the library van.

Just another average, boring day in the library!

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