BAD Reads
Dear Paris
"Mom, it's not right!" you howled, as they dragged you back to the clink.
You betcha!
It's not right that you have been given enough money to take care of all the disadvantaged kids in LA, opportunities most of us can never dream of, and have wasted it all on parties and every form of self-absorption your money can buy.
(And I don't want to hear about your "charity work". Going to parties and being a figurehead does far more for you and your ego than it does for the charitable organizations. Hand over a lot more money and you'd do a heck of a lot more good!)
It's been pointed out that, as Keith Obermann put it, your name was "Harris Pilton", you'd never, ever, ever have gotten the sentence you did.
But odds are "Harris Pilton" couldn't serve 45 days in jail and then go home to a 2700 square foot mansion, hot and cold running help, and all the gourmet cupcakes she could eat. Instead she would probably have to try to rebuild her life after serving jail time. She would have to worry about who would hire her with a police record.
You, on the other hand, can go back to your stupid little dog, your fancy cell phone, your TV "career" and all the rest of the things you cherish.
House arrest? Hell, most of the folks I know would DREAM of having house arrest like you wanted. Thank the gods the judge didn't let you out of prison and give you FITTING house arrest--say a nice public housing unit somewhere with no ac, wonky plumbing and a food stamp income. After all, that's what a lot of the inmates in the LA jails are in for when THEY get out of prison!
You've made that career on being notorious. And now the judge, bless him, turned it around and made you an example.
Do your time, and then you can get out and exploit this for all it's worth. Isn't that what you're all about anyway?
And you and your mom can have a nice chat about "right" and "wrong".
Perhaps if you had had that talk long ago, you might not be in the fix you're in now.
Sincerely yours,
The Library Lady
