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My Mom's Birthday
She's 75 today.
Here's what I wrote about her last year under a post entitled "My Mother the Nudzh".
It's all still true and she's STILL driving me crazy.
And I love her as much as ever--maybe even more!
One of my brother's favorite (and only) Yiddish words is nudzh, meaning "to nag" and he uses it t(lovingly, mind you) to describe our mother.
Mom drives me crazy.
She calls me at work--and if I'm not there, when she DOES get a hold of me she asks "Where WERE you?"
She nags me about the Man's weight because she thinks I should mother him the way she does my father--something that just doesn't work with the Man!
She nags me about MY weight (and cholesterol) and goes on and on and ON about food and health to the point where you can't have a meal with her without learning how healthy it is for you--in which case it isn't terribly tasty--or how healthy it ISN'T--in which case she will be reminding my father of it for days!
And she's jealous (though she won't admit it) of my excellent relationship with my mother-in-law, even though she, good daughter-in-law that she was, always caught hell from my paternal grandmother!
But I also remember that I didn't battle with her the way a lot of other girls did when I was in high school. She and my father trusted me--and because I knew that I didn't feel the need to do a lot of the dangerous things my friends were doing.
When I started seeing the Man, she welcomed him into the house, though I know she had qualms about his being a Catholic. She never questioned the relationship--ever. They've had their ups and downs, but no more than you would have with any other member of the family--and he's long been regarded as such!
And I remember how in college, when everyone else seemed to be moaning about their relationships with their mothers, I never really had anything to complain about. And I didn't have to keep secrets from her--I probably told her more than I should have, because I knew that she would accept my decisions, however reluctantly.
Nowadays, as much as she drives me crazy, I look at my daughters and know how much I love them. I understand how that love is like no other love in the world, and I know that that's how MY mom feels about me. It makes it a LOT harder to get mad at her, damn it!
And as she celebrates her 74th birthday today, I know how lucky I am to have her, there interfering in my life, alive and (fairly) healthy.
There for my daughters to love and remember. There to call me,and laugh with me and exult in the good things and support me when things get bad.
There to exasperate me, but that's okay. What she says drives me nuts, but it's said because she loves me.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
You ARE a nudzh. But I love you.
