Good Reads Library
On the Last Day of "Novem-bear", A Rant About Biblitherapy
I am not a big fan of the Berenstain Bears.
In fact, after 20 years in the children's lit business, I pretty much HATE the Berenstain Bears.
Don't get me wrong. I am sure that the late Stan Berenstain was a wonderful man, a great husband and father. And I love and recommend to patrons the "I Can Read" books he and his wife Jan did early in their career--things like "He Bear, She Bear" and "Bears on Wheels".
But their "problem books" suck pondwater.
The artwork is fun. But the plots are didactic, simplistic and formulaic. How formulaic?
Here it is: the Bear kids have a problem. They get in further trouble. Bumbling, loveable Papa tries to intervene and makes things worse. In steps Mama, a deus ex machina in a mobcap to magically solve the problem. Lesson learned, happy ever after.
Just how it always works in your house too, hmmmm?
These books are part of a subgroup of children's literature that fall under the heading of "bibliotherapy". Books that are intended to help children deal with problems--everything from the new sibling to not liking to eat healthy food all the way up to dealing with fears of nuclear warfare.
I am regularly besieged by parents who want everything from a book to explain to their 1 year old that they need to share toys in playgroup (OY!) or to teach their 5 year old not to tell lies. Or (my all time doozie) why their 2 year old's au pair had to go back to Costa Rica.
Of sure. Of course, I've got a book JUST on that......
Look. I do have books on new siblings, on saying goodbye to a friend (or caregiver), on dealing with a bully, or on why "hands are not for hitting". And we have stories about losing a pet--or a grandparent, or a lot of other situations we have to help our children through.
But the best of these books have a STORY-- a real, wonderful story that doesn't drive the moral home with a sledgehammer. They're books that are so wonderful, you would want to read them even if you weren't looking to deal with a problem.
And bibliotherapy doesn't just mean reading a book. It needs something else to work successfully.
That's a parent--or caregiver--or someone else who loves the child with a problem--sitting down and reading the book with a child and then TALKING about the book. Using it as a springboard for a discussion on how they can deal with the problem.
As for young children, there are lots of good parenting books to help you find ways to deal with the problems of toddlers and preschoolers. Things like saying "no" when they need boundaries. Books to remind you not to expect your two year old to share nicely --because it's just not a thing that two year olds do!
And perhaps one of them will tell you the dirty little secret of bibliotherapy--that occasionally there ISN'T any way to solve a problem.
You just have to try to make the situation as (sorry) "bear-able" as possible.
All you can do is love each other and hang in there.
And it's probably the most important lesson we can ever teach our children.......
