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Parenthood ISN'T A Recipe For Happiness? I'm Shocked, Shocked, Shocked......
The health section of the Washington Post today had an article entitled "Bundles of Misery". It's theme was that parents tend more towards unhappiness with their lives than the childless. Parents with minor children were the most depressed, followed by parents with adult kids at home, parents with adult kids away from home (no surprise there) and then childless adults.
My comment?
DUUUHHHHHH!
Of COURSE childless by choice folks are likely to be happier!!!
They can jet off to Acapulco on a whim. (Given of course, that they have the money to do so. Let's be real here!) They can go out to dinner at 9PM on a weekday if they feel like it. They can buy lots of lovely toys for themselves rather than spending their salaries on dull things like diapers and "Disney Princess" sneakers and preschool tuition.
Don't let them kid you, oh happily married childless types pondering parenthood. Being a parent is NOT an Ivory Snow commercial!
It's more like an Oxy-Clean commercial as you try to figure out how to get the spit stains off of all of those cute as a bug little baby outfits!
It's spending your money on that clothing and going around in jeans and a sweatshirt instead of those designer duds. (Unless you're Julia Roberts or Brittney Spears or some other such well heeled mama, that is).
Days when just having the time to take a shower and get CLEAN is an accomplishment.
(If you're in this stage, hang in there. Sooner or later, the kid WILL let you put them down!)
Evenings when you wistfully think about a time when you'd stay up late watching movies--and actually STAYED AWAKE through the movies because you could sleep as late in the morning as you wanted to!
And that doesn't even allow for terrible toddlers, problem preschoolers, exasperating elementary schoolers and (shudder):
TEENAGERS!
Parenthood means days when you really, really,really want nothing more than to run home to your parents and let THEM be the grownups again!
But there are other days too. The ones where that little imp from hell gives you a big hug and "mama" is the sweetest word in the world. Watching your child play a sport or perform on a stage and wanting to cry because you are so, so proud of them.Seeing them walk towards you and wondering that you are actually the parent of such a beautiful girl (or handsome boy!)
Moments when you are just sitting at the dinner table, and amid the chaos and the strife, you feel the joy of just being a FAMILY.
If you want your life to center around yourself and your needs, you're probably better off not being a parent. And that's great. No one should be a parent who doesn't CHOOSE to be a parent!
And I can't underline the word CHOOSE enough. Because it is a choice and needs to be made knowingly, not on a whim!
It's the hardest goddamn job on Earth. Bar none.
A 24/7 committment for a minimum of 18 years. No salary, no perks and (usually)no vacations. Constant on the job training--even if you HAD an instruction manual, you'd constantly find yourself rewriting the book!
But for all the days it's gotten me down, it's given me something more precious than anything I could ever buy in a store. The things I gave up for it pale in contrast to what I've gotten in return.
And that's not saccharine. That's just the truth, pure and simple.
