Good Reads Library
Picky, Picky, Picky--Can We Help This Mom?
"The Nice Librarian" or "She Who Used To Be Known As Tired Tunia" wrote a comment on my "Sunday Dinner" post about her kids' eating situation, which I am quoting here:
At this point I'm getting WAY sick of the crap that my kids and I have been living on for the past few months during this crazy period in our lives. There has been way too much pizza, spaghetti, frozen pancakes and chicken nuggets involved in dinnertime lately. I really need to get my act together, but I'm so tired at the end of the day, and just dread the fights and resistance that I know it would cause to try and make my kids eat "real" food. But I know the longer I wait to force them to branch out, the worse it will be. What do I do? Starve them until they give in and eventually start trying new things? Reward charts for new foods tried? I read the stuff that says you need to introduce foods at least 10 times before a lot of kids will try it...but guess what, their 10 times are up, and they still ain't trying stuff. I've had some success with not giving them any bedtime snack if they don't take 5 bites of their supper or whatever, but it doesn't make them want to eat any better. Any advice, anyone, anyone???
Oh,honey, I hear you. In fact I think all of us hear you.
I am lucky in that being a New York City Jewish girl married to a New York City Filipino boy, we had cuisine differences to begin with--though fewer than you'd think since we did both grow up in the city.
We've always cooked a lot of international food--my recipe archive shows that. The girls were both in day care with Afghani women, so they got exposed to a lot of fabulous food early on. Their grandmas cook different sort of food, so there's rice at Nanay's and potatoes at Grandma's. And we live in a very muticultural area, so a lot of our cheap eats are ethnic--and go beyond Chinese and Italian.
Still, despite that all, I've got a 7 year old who seldom wants sauce on her pasta, prefers the meats separate from the rice and eats a heap lot of macaroni and cheese and "Japanese" (ramen) soup.
Thing is, you've got 2 really little kids--my 7 year old is my little one--a busy job and a big change in your life this past year. Getting dinner on the table every night is a major accomplishment, period--be proud of yourself!
Here's my thoughts on what to do:
1)If it's mac and cheese, soups and such, don't sweat it. It's mostly pretty nutritious, it's economical on a tight budget and it's easy for you to make it!
2) My kids like raw veggies best--what would I do without baby carrots? They also like string beans that way and sliced peppers. Dips are known to help--I know a young lady who likes ketchup with her carrots, and my mom always used to make me "Russian" dressing--just a mayo and ketchup mix.
3)Pre-schoolers like finger foods as much as toddlers do. Think of Happy Meals with the bite sized nuggets and fries. Think of salad bar foods. Are there things on the salad bar they like to nibble on? JR has a passion for black olive slices and both she and SC love chickpeas.
4)Kids go through eating jags--SC had one period where it was mac and cheese EVERY night for dinner. She ate it, it was simple to fix, and we all were happy.
5)Food is a control issue. I quote the words of my own childhood pediatrician to my mom--probably the ONLY smart thing she ever told her:"NEVER force a child to eat!"
And my mom never did. Even when her mother-in-law, my poor misguided Grandma Esther was SURE I was sickly because I was so skinny and nagged my mother to feed me more, my mother stuck to her guns.
Too bad Grandma isn't around now--she could tell my mom I'm just fine now and don't need to lose weight. She'd be wrong, but it would be nice to hear it!
Withholding dessert or snacks can make the dinner table--especially if your kids are as stubborn as mine! If trying something new is just causing aggrevation, let it be. They WILL branch out eventually--as long as you make sure they are exposed to other foods, even if it's just seeing what their mom eats!
6) Nothing wrong with "breakfast for dinner". We often have scrambled eggs or pancakes for dinner at our house--usually with turkey bacon on the side.
7)You can serve Max and Ruby (love that, BTW!) basics and fix them up for you. As I mentioned when I gave a recipe for turkey meatballs, SC loves her with pasta and sauce, the Man and I like them with pesto and sauce on the side, and JR wants meatballs and pasta, SEPARATELY with butter. I only make one meal, but we all get to eat it our way. Pasta's especially great this way, but you can do the same with other things. No reason you can't eat a real, grown-up meal--and we all deserve that!
BTW, I usually feed the kids first, and then eat afterwards while they're doing other things. I sit with them and make conversation (!), but it's a lot easier to eat in peace when I don't have to keep jumping up and down to get stuff for them!
8) Are they healthy? Is their doctor happy with their weights and growth?
If so relax. You're doing just fine.
Eat a grown up dinner yourself and let them eat as they like. They're fine and they'll eat more happily if you don't fuss. And you will too!
Okay, anyone else want to chime in here? If so, please comment and I'll put your advice into a later post.
