Can I Scream Yet?

Mom shows up with one year old, nanny and nanny's three year old. Wants nanny, 3 year old and 1 year old to go to toddler program. I recognize the 3 year old as having come previous weeks, say it's better for 3 year old to come to program for 2s and up, and toddler to come along. Mom seems to agree.

Thirty--count them THIRTY--moms/nannies and 1 year olds show up for the morning program in a room that gets crowded by the time 20 show up. Several moms exit. I also later realize that 2 of the nannies were there for the crowded Monday program.

Mom with the nanny tries to come in--I tell her we're full and aren't they coming to the 11 o'clock instead. She gets miffed. Asks my assistant JC who's in charge. She tells her I am.   Asks who MY boss is. Gets his name, but doesn't know he's out with flu and will be in my corner anyway.

Thirty minutes of chaos with so many kids I can't even turn around in the room. At least 8 new kids.
Lots of new names to learn and old ones to remember because I sing "hello" to everyone.
Note to expectant parents. Do NOT name your kid any variation of Isabelle or Jack this year. I have Isabel/Isabelle/Isabellas galore at programs and at least 6 Jacks.
Oh, and before giving your kid that cute, exotic name, resign yourself to the fact that people are going to misspell or mispronounce it for years. Imagine it being called on the playground. And then perhaps you'll be kind to your child and use the damn standard spelling,or NOT pick a name that's only acceptable if your parent is a celebrity freak to begin with......

Realize I am going to have to do THREE one year old programs a week next month. Console myself by remembering that I've got no programs Easter week and that by the end of April things SHOULD die down.

Nanny, daughter and toddler show up for 11 o'clock program. Three year old is bright and very responsive and the baby has a good time too. Re-explain things to the nanny who understands and is fine with it. Wonder if the mother is going to raise hell next week. Sigh...

My least favorite neighbor, the one who lets her nasty pug dogs run amok on our common area and scare my daughter shows up and I duck her. But in the process of doing so I spot a cop with a handcuffed suspect on the bench inside our front door. Another policeman appears, a woman comes with him from upstairs and eventually they all leave. They don't bother to tell us what it was all about, but whatever was going on seems to have nothing to do with the library anyway... 

The old homeless guy we call "the Frenchman", because he keeps trying to talk to me in (bad) French and claims that he was kicked out of France and is trying to get a visa again approaches my assistant. He's been "evicted" (his words) from the children's room by my boss. This is because he has no business there and because he plunks his caggy tuchus down in our comfy chairs and falls asleep with his mouth open. Since he's elderly and scraggly, this alarms parents, so I finally asked my boss to let him know adults are not allowed in the area without kids.
He's now set up next door in the local history department and he asks my assistant to watch his "valuable" papers. He's afraid they're going to be stolen. He tells her his scarf was stolen last week by an undercover policeman. JC admirably keeps a straight face and tells him we can't be responsible for his belongings.

Soon after, he approaches our other children's librarian who brings him to talk to me about whether he can be in the children's area on Sundays.
No, I say, you can't be in children's unless you're there with children. 
You've changed the policy he says.
No, I reply, it's always been the policy. But now we're enforcing it.
And if he wants to know why, I'd tell him. I KNOW he's harmless. But the parents don't. And I don't want to have to watch him sleeping in the chair all day anyway. Though his claim is that he fell asleep there "once"!

SC has choir practice for school, so she's missing ballet today. Go to pick up JR who has the meltdown to end all meltdowns about ballet. I'm ready to let her quit and leave her there. But she NEEDS ballet. The extended day program is just barely adequate and I'd rather she spends two days a week doing something she's really good at--something that she loves! She's just pissed because she's the youngest there, and because her best friend (who didn't LIKE ballet) is no longer there with her.

After half an hour of both of us crying, we make an agreement. I'll pick her up earlier at school so she has time at home before ballet. She'll go without arguing, and she doesn't have to (darn it) do a duet dance with SC at the recital in June. Oh, well...

We go upstairs to await SC, but get a call from her. She's at school, the bus is running late and she's COLD. Drive down to get her, bring the girls home and head back to work.

And get a message from someone at the Mental Health Department. Something about their Domestic Violence program and wanting to do something at the library--maybe as guest readers at my 3 to 5 year old program. What?????

Why does everyone think it's so damned easy to "read" to kids? Do they think I just plunk down in front of a bunch of kids and read three books in a row and they all sit there raptly with hands in their laps? Have they ever done such a thing? Have they ever SEEN someone do such a thing?

I'm a freaking PROFESSIONAL, folks. And it's NOT easy and it take a helluva lot of work if you want to do something good that the kids will LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave a message saying thanks but no thanks, but if there's anything I can help them with...
Sit down at my computer and drink the second Pepsi I shouldn't have drunk today......

As I said--can I scream yet? 

AUGHHHHHHH! 

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