BAD Reads
The "Twilight" Zone #1: What This Is All About
But here, cross-published at my Good Reads spot is the first installment of my "Twlight" musings.
After all, summer is the time for brainless adult reading, isn't it?
The "TWILIGHT" Zone
Installment One: WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT
I have spent the last few years being forced to use taxpayer dollars (and I pay taxes in this burg) to make Stephenie Meyer and the Church of the Latter Day Saints (I assume she's tithing them 10 percent)richer.
I have spent the last few years being forced to keep a series of books on my shelf that are poorly written, absurdly plotted and just downright crappy.
I have watched this dreck sail to the top of the bestseller lists and spawn a billion similar series, some of which MIGHT actually have literary merit but are getting lost in the glut.
Worst of all, I have had to watch the same silly children's/YA librarians who thought that "Eragon" was something more than a badly written "Star Wars"/Tolkien ripoff praise this book to the skies and actually RECOMMEND it as something our kids should be reading.
Fortunately, my own daughter is hopelessly untrendy.SC never bothered to read "Harry Potter" past book 4. She isn't into fashion. She doesn't like "girly" stuff. And she finds stuff like "Twilight" to be putrid.
And this is a good thing. When she was a toddler/preschooler it was easy to pretend our TV did not get "Barney". But at 14, she is aware of things enough to find books for herself. I haven't forbidden her to read anything yet. And I wouldn't want to have to.
But I digress. Let's make ourselves go back to "Twilight".
Because I find these books to be so bad, I have decided to break them down, chapter by chapter, wincingly bad line by line.
There will be a count of the word "eye" or "eyes", per chapter--and yes, it's really notable. As is use of words that are synonyms for "perfect", the Bleak House "but I am not worthy" garbage that was bad enough in a GREAT author like Charles Dickens, and the "Mary Sue" syndrome.
Want to read along? Going to get a copy and start underlining?
Spare yourself. Read this instead.
